jojo ♥

Friday, October 9

Still waking up at 8am.. Smiling, trying to mean it. Working / uhm, studying. Going to bed. And feeling absolutely nothing.

It sooo gets on my nerves, as I play this little routine.

Okay, I confess life has not been all that dull. There are great moments, and some pretty memorable ones. I have not regretted anything much; I do feel rather proud of myself. (= There is not much decisions I would have changed.

But I am so greedy. I want so much more.

Maybe I just cannot wait to grow up - to be really independent. I think I would like to be working and doing something I love; to make my own decisions and to do as I like.

With so many friends most happy to stay in the schoolroom, I reckon this must sound a trifle silly. After all, college is supposed to be the epitome of reckless fun.

But seriously, I really cannot wait. Perhaps I just want to know where I stand in the world.

You know, the worse is that I cannot identify what I am missing. Is this curiosity at not knowing what I will do in the future, or is this a wanting of freedom? Perhaps I simply wanted to be reckless for a while.

I am also unsure why I choose to share it online when I could have just confide in someone. Of course, I am not looking forward to losing any more people. What do you know?

[Yes, what a cliche title]

17:51